Wednesday, 2 February 2011

You, my crazy readers

Last night I made a St Clements pudding, which is a steamed sponge thing involving clementines and it didn't really work out - although don't think for one second that I am not eating some right now at my desk at 0925.

Anyway, I found myself this morning with nothing to write about. I didn't help that I had the major hormonal preggy sweats all night and had bad dreams about being chased by Jamie Redknapp (why didn't I just stop and ask him what he wanted? And then ask him out ON A DATE? Although I wouldn't do that because I think Louise Redknapp looks like a really nice person.)

But then I looked at the comments that had come in overnight - a record-breaking NINE - and was tickled by all of them, which were unusually bonkers, as well as being unusually plentiful but was extra-specially amused and charmed by this mad-but-endearing comment below.

Dear Esther, for no reason at all I've decided to take a closer look at your home page photo- the one of you holding saucepan (rather menacingly). Questions: is that a mirror splashback above stove? Isn't it crazy to keep clean? Why would one have mirror at that height and there? Is it a Cath Kidston reflected, near the Roberts radio? In addition to being expensively teethed and large bosomed, are you also very tall? Your island work-height appears low in relation to your hips, so presumably, you are either 1. very tall, 2. average in height but long-torsoed, 4.island is very low, or 3.you cook in Louboutins ala Nigella? I have a tiny kitchen and am envious of your light & spacious kitchen, that you did not have to stick units above worktop; I'm long in body so find most workheights too low for me (like to stack chopping boards) and also envious of big boobs :) I would like sone Invisalignbay some point in the future. I am feeling very nosy today I don't know why! Love LS xx


And so because I've not got much else to do or say, I thought I'd answer this in full, in a post.

1 Yes, that is a mirror splashback. It's actually not crazy to keep clean - it rarely gets dirty unless you cook something very greasy and spitty and then it's just a question of deploying the Windolene. It also helps that I have a cleaner

2 The mirror is that height and there so that you have a nice view of the garden while you are bent, barefoot and pregnant over the stove cooking your husband's dinner. Also, when you live with someone as naughty and sneaky as my husband, it's handy to have eyes in the back of your head. This mirror is a way of achieving this without a complicated operation.

3 That is indeed an item of Cath Kidston reflected near the radio, but it's not mine, it belongs to my sister, who is behind the camera.

4 I am not tall and I do not cook in Louboutins. I don't think Nigella does either, judging by how often she's seen in her FitFlops.  I am exactly five feet six and one half inches. It's my sister who is tall and the angle from which she took the photo makes the island look lower than it is. The island is exactly 90cm, or 35 and one half inches off the ground. It comes up to about 2 inches below my belly button. It is not unusually low. But, as it happens, I do have quite a long torso.

Yes my kitchen is pretty nice. There are no cupboards because I insisted on building a larder on the side of the kitchen, which stores all foodstuff and lots of odds and ends. I actually redesigned and built the kitchen as a kind of devotional act to my husband; when we started going out he was the cook and I was a mere bystander.  But then when it was finished I thought it was too nice and too lifestyle for him to do any cooking in it and quickly appropriated it for myself.

32 comments:

  1. My Mum has the same kettle as you.

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  2. Oh Esther, I do love your blog and your kitchen. I like the recipes and have used a few - the ginger cake that you posted before Christmas, for example, I knocked up as a quick, tasty (and impressive) dessert for some guests. They loved it!

    Your kitchen looks to be of the kind where one could sit, drinking tea and annoying you while you cook. I would like one of those!

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  3. Your blog never fails to make me laugh. Thanks!
    Though I try not to look too much at your picture as I know I'll be filled with envy over your kitchen. But I could really do with a mirror like that to keep an eye on my sneaky husband.

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  4. I've been reading your blog for the past few weeks and this post just really sums up what I love about it. Thanks for keeping me entertained with your food adventures, you're going on my hero list!

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  5. I just read Giles' twitter, good luck Esther! We will all miss your recipes and funny ways for the next few days/weeks/months. x

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  6. Yes, Good Luck Esther!! And remember, tranquillity is close to Godliness: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_birth

    Ha!!
    xx

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  7. babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabyabbaybayababayubayabayb baybeeeeeeee! xxxxx ( i mus be blind because I always thought you were holding a large carving knife, not a pan... but I can clearly see it's a pan now)

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  8. Esther, you are BRILLIANT. x

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  9. Good luck!! See you on the other side xx

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  10. I second that, Becca.

    Good luck Esther!

    x x

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  11. Ha, this one made me smile! Not just the eccentric but rather charming comment but the fact that you answered it so seriously. Love it!

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  12. my first and probably last post (im not one for chatting) just to say GOOD LUCK ! and i hope all goes well for you's .

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  13. Another laugh out loud post. Thanks Esther. Best of luck & looking foward to seeing you back here in the coming months. Xx

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  14. A mirrored splashback? I thought it was a weird sort of servery slot through which you could pass Giles his supper in the manner of a school dinner lady. Thanks for clearing that up!

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  15. Have just seen your sis-in-law tweeting that your baby has been born- CONGRATULATIONS!!! Absolutely thrilled for you all xx

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  16. Just read your Twitter- congratulations!!! Felt so excited for you and Giles and wanted to share the news... then realised I don't actually know you personally and none of my friends know who you are (a sadness for them). Hope the baby won't make you too cheery on your blog- I relate to your depressed whinging self (to paraphrase your words).
    Congratulations again!!!

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  17. Congratulations, you absolute stunner.

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  18. wow. A little girl. Well done both of you, but particularly you!!

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  19. I echo Bianca - congratulations!

    xxxx

    PS Who is approving these comments to be published, not you surely?!

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  20. ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!! congratulations on baby Kitty Coren.... hope all goes well... we love you... baby pics soon please! x

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  21. Congratulations Esther!! So so so pleased and excited to hear the happy news. Looking fwd to your posts as a new mum and getting to meet Kitty on the blog! Like Bianca, I also wanted to share the news, and told my husband immediately. He's a fan of Giles and knows about this blog since it's my FAVOURITE FOOD BLOG! Best wishes to the three of you.

    XOXOXOXO

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  22. Mazeltov for all 3 of you! Maurits

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  23. I love your kitchen so jealous lol and congrats on the baby! always a magic experience!

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  24. Congratulations to you both on the arrival of baby Kitty. Enjoy her ! xx

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  25. Oh I CANNOT wait when you write about Kitty & you; what a terrifically stylish name and am dying to see a photo of the little lady who will carry it off with great aplomb! Only from an equally sassy mama. Well done mr&mrsCoren! Wishing you lots of positive energy, good cheer & uninterrupted sleep in the coming months. I don't know which I like best: news of your new baby, your entire blog or this post in particular answering my questions in full - the baby'd vomitted all over me, and it always calms me to look at something else and scrutinise. In mitigation, I'm an architect and I also like your frameless door, and window seat... but I can go on. And, you have far better things to do now. Enjoy xxx
    ps. I, too, wonder who is approving your comments.

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  26. Congratulations on your baby! Kitty Coren is a divine name <3
    You must be very happy! x

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  27. Congratulations on the birth of baby Kitty. Wishing your little family every happiness!!
    My guess is "the hamburglar" is approving the comments??
    Xx

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  28. Wonderful news, congratulations Esther and Giles. Kitty Coren is a lovely name and no doubt she will grow up to be beautiful and talented. Lisax

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  29. Congratulations !! Sleep as much as you can over the next few weeks...

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  30. Congratulations on the big squeeze. I'm already incredibly jealous of Kitty and her life. Best parents ever. x

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  31. Congratulations on your baby girl. I LOVE your blog, I'm just not big on commenting uusally

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  32. Ditto The Sh's comments.

    Usually come here for culinary inspiration. Came here tonight to say: Congratulations!

    Boristhedog (aka another Helen B)

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