Friday, 5 March 2010

Flossie the Hamburgler


So, there are a few changes to Recipe Girl. It's no longer Recipe Girl, for starters, but Recipe Rifle. It's all my sister's fault (that is her in the picture above). My sister is called Florence and she is 21 and she is the only computer nerd I know who wears Marc Jacobs. I bought her a pair of Louboutins for her 21st birthday and I now really regret it. I should have got her a Beano and a tube of Pringles and kept the shoes for myself.

She said to me the other day in the brutal, but matter-of-fact way she has: "Your blog is really lame. You need more photos and a search button and a sitemeter." She gave me a bored look as she casually re-directed $0.001 off the paycheque of every United States citizen with a social security number into her Barclays student current account. Then she popped another brownie into her mouth and said "and the name is just stupid. You're nearly 30. Just call it Recipe Rifle. I mean, that's a crap name too, but better than Recipe GIRL." She looked me up and down in that judgmental way that thin people or French people do. I mean, she's not French, but you get my meaning. She is thin, though. For such a giant asshole, she is very thin indeed.

So there we are - it's a bit different. I must say, it's spooky to be able to see where all my differnt visitors are coming from. Or actually, maybe it's nice. It means you are real, not just figments of my imagination.

Florence has a hamburger recipe that she wants to share with you all, which is good timing because I wanted to do something - now barbeque weather isn't out of the realms of imaginations - on burgers. So when she gets off her fat lazy student butthole and passes it on to me, it will, verily, be yours, too.

15 comments:

  1. um , sorry to be a bit of a stalker ( posting twice in a day and all that) but "Recipe Rifle" is a rubbish name. What is a Recipe Rifle, ffs? Stick with Recipe Girl, please.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's okay. I know, Recipe Rifle isn't brilliant, but I take on board my sister's thing about me really not being a Girl any more. (There is also another Recipe Girl out there). I picked it at random ages ago, just because I liked the idea of the double "R" and of rifling through cookbooks and also of rifle shooting bad recipes down. These days I rather like its weirdness and shonkiness. At least it's the only one out there...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Florence, I deleted your comment because I thought you were a touch over-protective in your defence of Recipe Rifle as a name.

    This is a kind place, for nice people, and 1,000-word demented rants are not OK. OK?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'd just like to point out that now when you search "recipe rifle" it's the first one that comes up. "Recipe Girl" still lands you with www.recipegirl.com.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you, Florence, for your calm, considered and excellent comment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah sisters ... I don't mind Recipe Rifle, though it'll probably take me a while to start calling it that. And I'm liking the pictures, so perhaps she has a point :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. How on earth do you achieve a search button and a site-meter?! I want these things on my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't know!! Florence did it. I think she might have Googled "Search button for blogger" and she DEFINITELY Googled Sitemeter. I think you have to fill out a form, but it looked pretty easy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The search button is just on of the 'gadgets' that you can add on the site layout bit. The site-meter thing is a google-able item but I couldn't remember where you copy and paste the html code into the layout so I googled that too.
    I'm going to find out how I can add other cool things to Esther's page as well but my html book has walked away...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Next up is a full Search Engine Optimization Program (called SEOP in the biz) to make sure that your site is ranking in the top 10. We are going to have to attach Google Analytics to track which posting is getting the most hits...
    Or we could all just tell a friend.
    Sometimes the web junk gets in the way of things.
    Thoughts? Florence?

    ReplyDelete
  11. omg don't engage with Florence, she'll skin you alive and turn you into handbags

    ReplyDelete
  12. but I appreciate the free e-marketing know-how. cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Now all I can think of is recipes for Trifle, there's an idea, Recipe Rifle Trifle recipe's once a month?!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Funny you should say that, I was going to try out a salted caramel trifle soon...

    ReplyDelete